Wallabee

Such a fun word. Wallabee.

Quite the adventure today. And oddly enough, it didn't start off in my car. Instead, I went for a bike ride. I haven't ridden my bike in months due to the hot summer Arizona hell-storm that is summer. So it was very nice to finally hop back on that rickety POS that is my cheap Wal-mart cruiser. Even though it feels like its going to fall apart at any moment, it has a certain charm about it.

It's a boy's bike, but I really didn't care about the gender of the bike only because I liked the color. It's a bit of a gay hipster, but beautiful anyway. And when I ride it, I love hearing all the little squeaks, clicks, and grinds while I pass under the shaded trees and feel the wind on my face. It is probably the most relaxing way to do a cardio exercise.

My day consisted of costumes, beautiful stringed instruments, and working. Lots of working. My feet hurt so badly that they are having their own cramps. Not to mention all the noobs at work whom I have to hold their hand and stay 30 minutes after my shift is supposed to end to teach them for the 7th time how to close a register. It's all good though. I'll hold the hands of ten different seasonal noobs to get me through the retail hell that is Christmas and survive yet another year.

9 more months till New York. Will it be a boy or a girl?

Lunchtime!

Hanging with the men of the household. Dad and dog. We're installing a TV. Well, he is, I'm sitting here on the computer watching him do all this. I love moments like these. Just chillin' and listening to music. These past few weeks have just been Rush! Go! Rush! It's been pretty busy. I'm glad that I get to spend some time with my dad though. :)

I've also been working every single night. And I'm coming down with a cold. :( But that really doesn't stop me from going out at night. I went out with my friend last night and afterward went to wonderful boyfriend's house. We watched Arrested Development and cuddled. It's really an amazing and well-written show. If you haven't seen it yet, then go and watch it RIGHT NOW.

So, I've been listening to the radio the entire time I've been writing this. And this song called Love in America comes on. I just have to say that the lyrics, "Come on and shake your money maker!" shouldn't be sung like you're on a freaking episode of Barney. I await the day children are quoting what they've heard of Radio Disney and are singing, "Come on and shake your money maker." while skipping on their way to kindergarten.

I was just browsing through the little "extras" that google has to offer for its customers, and I came across the "make your own website" option. I gave it some thought and figured it would be pretty cool, but then I realized that I barely get on this, so there wouldn't really be any point.

Well, going to work and then to a cast party. I need some fun. :)

Uninvited

This summer, I had the grand opportunity to accomplish one of my many life-long dreams. I went to Prague for a fabulous study abroad. I studied Intercultural Communications and International Business. I was taking weekend excursions to Vienna, Austria and Germany. I was in a continent where I could buy alcohol without getting carded.

So why is it that I'm sitting alone in my house on a Saturday night reminiscing about my summer?

Because once again, I didn't fit in. I don't fit in. I'm sitting here watching my dog snore and staring blankly at my report that's due next week that I absolutely loathe. (Yes, I'm procrastinating). I'm sitting home alone feeling sorry for myself because during that entire month I stayed in that dorm, living my dream, I couldn't make one friend. That's right. As hard as I tried, and as hard as I tried to stay in contact, I'm still the outcast and I'm still unaccepted into their little bullshit group. There was a reunion party tonight that I just found out about with people from all three of the colleges going, and I wasn't invited.

There's nothing really exciting in my life right now. The only thing I really have to look forward to is moving out in A YEAR. But for now, I feel like I just waste the days away working and going to school. I watch the people around me actually doing things with their lives right now while I just keep telling myself, "Don't worry your time will come." Today I went to a play, and I was introduced to some really interesting people that have really interesting jobs in the theater community and I was asked the question that I hate most, "So what do you do?" What is it exactly that I do? "Oh I just wish time away till I could actually do something." is what I wish I could say. Or, "Oh, I just go to community college because my financial aid fell through, I work as a cashier, and I watch the people around me do really amazing things with their happy lives." Well, I must say that I've actually made 2 or 3 new friends since the last time I bitched on this blog. I need a hobby.

Hipocracy pt. II

Wonderful boyfriend wonderfully told me that his wonderful band is going to be in a wonderful concert at the end of this wonderful month. Unfortunately, the concert is located out of my usual vicinity which presents a problem on my behalf. Having old-fashioned parents has it's ups and downs. We eat dinner as a family, we sew, we go for long walks and bike-rides, we support one another, etc. But when it comes to breaking out of the traditional norm and trying new things, making new friends and attempting to embrace my youth while I still acceptably can, they freak out and start with the name-calling, labeling, and all of this other bull shit. It feels like two parts of my life can't be in harmony and I'm currently having a nervous breakdown. I'm going through enough funks as it is (uninspired, working too much, lack of a social life as it is, etc) and having this is just the fuckin' cherry on top. I'm not involved in much, my friends are moving on with their lives, and I'm still stuck here in the middle of the desert. They would be willing to set me loose in a foreign country for an entire month, but not let me have an adventure in my own home state for one night with people that they actually know.

Lucid Dreaming

I've done it everyone. I can't believe I haven't done it before, but I have now done it. I can now lucid dream my (extremely rare) "dreams of extreme passion". I can't saw that I could control what I see in the dream, but how i feel. It was a very new experience. I don't know why I'm blogging this (actually I do) because lately that has been the most exciting thing that's happened. (Sad, I'm quite aware).

In other news, I'm fighting this illness that's kept me from doing anything for the past two weeks. I'm starting to feel like a human again, and I'm able to go to work now, but good god I hate being sick... I'm just repeating my rants from last October 2009.

Anyways, I was put on the spot in work today. Didn't know that Haitians spoke French. So when I had a Haitian family figure out that I spoke French, they didn't hesitate to start picking on my accent and whatnot. But the thing that bothered me the most was that I had a lot of trouble picking up my vocabulary. I need to start studying the language again because I'm not using it as often as I should. Practice makes perfect. Although perfect is pretty much unattainable, I really should be practicing more.

Fascinating Adventures in a World of Darkness

Disclaimer: This post is not me being emotional. On the contrary, it's me being a complete fuckin' nerd.

I've been needing a vacation for a very long time. That's pretty much all I did when I was little because (back in the day) schools were lenient, and I took vacations with my family all the time. But these days it's just been work and school. But that all changed this weekend. I didn't go anywhere, but it's how I spent all my free time that made it amazing. I spent the entire two days I had with my boyfriend house-sitting and pretty much playing house while my family was camping. I couldn't have asked for a better time. Sometimes all you need is a few glasses of wine, a record player, and a little Adventure Time with your loved ones. I'll admit it, I'm a pretty simple creature.

In other news, a recent video game addiction I've been having is Kirby's Epic Yarn (Specifically in 2 player mode). Firstly: It doesn't piss me off. Which is pretty important. Secondly: 2-player mode actually contains TEAMWORK. Which seems to be such a strange concept with my collection of video games. I'm just used to killing the other person or making them eat my dust in a damn good race. Anyway, I highly recommend. It's amazing and I couldn't be more in love with the concept.

A Breath of Fresh Air

I'm not going to lie, but December was shit.

Work, finals, you know the usual drill. I just had these off and on depressions where everything just seemed like the same old thing. Granted, Christmas was great, I got a gorgeous record player. It's just that I'm ready to get back into the swing of things and start school once again.

But on December 31st, 2010, everything changed. I felt like how a 19 year old on New Years Eve should feel like. Who knew that a punk rock concert, some old and new friends, the love of my life, and my own personal bottle of Cabernet could fix that December funk that I was in. I'm so proud to say that I spent my new years right and I'm very much looking forward to 2011, because let's face it...2010 kindof sucked.

I would also like to post my new years resolutions as well:

Firstly: Learn to cook. Yeah, 19 and still cannot cook for the life of me. Simply put: I was never taught. It was just one of those things that I cast aside and never bothered to learn. Granted I could make the standard Ramen, Grilled Cheese, and basic college dorm food. It is just the reassurance that I would be able to survive on my own for whenever I move out.

Secondly: Write more. Which is pretty generic of me to say, but it's the truth. I've been on writer's block with my current novel for a good three or so months. I'll confess that it is due to a lack of inspiration (and a small addiction to Zelda and Sims 3). But today my boyfriend told me something which made me rethink the way I've been neglecting this skill, (and I cannot quote him word for word at the moment) but he basically told me to practice writing every single day. How are you going to be good at something if you don't practice? Even if its something little like a diary entry, a short story, or working on your novel. Thus, I am inspired again because he's right. I don't have to be working on just that novel. Hell, just as long as I write I'll be satisfied. Writing this out now has been clearing my head and getting me to focus again.

Anyway, I wish everyone a wonderful new year. And I have one more announcement to make:

So far I've treated this blog with monthly updates, but starting now for 2011 and to go with my new years resolution, I'll be updating and utilizing this site more often. So no more once a month posts.