Tonight was a going away/birthday party for a close friend of mine who turned 23. We went bowling to start off the night. Now I've been looking forward to tonight all week, I wanted to see my friend before she moved away. Not to mention that I don't go out as much as I used to, so being invited to ANY event is a huge deal.
Anyway, we bowl for about two hours (I sucked both games). I'm having an awesome time and would probably be there all night if I could. Well, with any birthday over your 21st, one has to go to more than just one place. So naturally everyone 21 and up wanted to go to the bar. I pretty much broke down crying after everyone left and called my boyfriend (Yeah, I call my boyfriend because I feel like I don't have a best friend to cry to...so my boyfriend is my best friend...you know what I mean) Now I'm just sobbing on the phone and disclosing every single thing I'm upset about at this very moment: Best friend is moving, I can't fucking go anywhere, I'm working shitty shifts all next week, my pending grades (Which I have to brag for a second and tell you that I got all A's :)), and how I'm horrible at keeping friendships.
He told me something that I do need to take more seriously. That everyone has been through this situation, and that I need to stop comparing myself to others.
I do hate to admit it but it's true. I try to come off as this independent and strong women, when in reality I do compare myself to my other salespeople, students, professionals, etc. I need to learn to appreciate my own strengths. I also need to accept that my time definitely will come. I need to keep in contact with my friends, I need to get shit done before NYC, I need to do so much that I'm stressing the hell out about it, which is probably the reason why I broke down and decided to call.
Done now, see you when my next breakdown happens.
