Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you? Why WON"T YOU GET HERE FAST ENOUGH!?
I hate uneventful days. Like today. It just didn't go by fast enough. It's not a great idea to wish your days away, but my god, Final review packets and watching Fred Claus and Ratatouille over and over again is the worst. I'm just happy that today was the last day of reviewing and we could finally get this show on the road Thursday and Friday.
In other news--
I have so much to memorize this winter break it's not even funny. I have a page and a half of Monologue plus all the lines of Buttercup for Princess Bride. I also have unwanted house guests, several knitting projects to do, and studying. There is not enough hours in my day, that's for sure.
I swear, I'm just going to go crazy this break and do all that I want to do.
Bonfires, hubbly bubbly, Christmas, partying
Let's go crazy.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Je me demande...
It wasn't one of the greatest of days. Someone says they're impressed with your work and to not change a thing. You get so proud that you show it to another person and it turns out there's improvement. I put this on repeat for the past few days. From the essays to the projects, I cannot emphasize the constant changes to be made for that "perfect grade" for that "perfect student". It's a lot more work than one thinks. And pressure isn't good for a sicky.
I feel like I'm going downhill. I'm not and I have a good excuse, but it's getting harder and harder to keep up with finals just around the corner. I just wish I could start over. I wish I didn't get mono. It's so hard to take one step at a time and keep up with everyone.
I'm thankful for my friends. They just seem to be my stress reliever now. But how often do I get to see them? Classrooms and passing classes aren't exactly the best places to relax and enjoy the company. I need to learn to relax again. I could feel that uptight worrying me coming back. I would ask for a break, but that doesn't seem to be the answer.
I miss the old times. And by old times I mean July through October. God, why did I have to get sick? Staying out late, parties, Truth or Dare?, Repo, Sonic, dancing, singing, romance, Hubbly Bubbly, Mill Ave, and theatre. I tend to say my summer lasted 4 weeks. 2 weeks in Germany, 2 weeks before school started. I'm starting to forget the rest. I love the feeling of starting off new in the school year, everything is beginning to settle. I thrive in constant energy and motion.
Lazy and uninspired is no way to go through life. This isn't me, but I have no choice but to face it now. Fuck you too, mono.
Today I had an anxiety attack. Lasted a long time too. It's this sick feeling in your stomach that stays there all day long and in one second your heart starts racing and you feel like fainting on the spot. Damn auditions. Once again, nervous, scared me is coming out. I think I'm just afriad of wasted work and disappointment.
I feel like an ass for just complaining on the internet. But god does it feel good to just write down whatever comes to your mind.
I feel like I'm going downhill. I'm not and I have a good excuse, but it's getting harder and harder to keep up with finals just around the corner. I just wish I could start over. I wish I didn't get mono. It's so hard to take one step at a time and keep up with everyone.
I'm thankful for my friends. They just seem to be my stress reliever now. But how often do I get to see them? Classrooms and passing classes aren't exactly the best places to relax and enjoy the company. I need to learn to relax again. I could feel that uptight worrying me coming back. I would ask for a break, but that doesn't seem to be the answer.
I miss the old times. And by old times I mean July through October. God, why did I have to get sick? Staying out late, parties, Truth or Dare?, Repo, Sonic, dancing, singing, romance, Hubbly Bubbly, Mill Ave, and theatre. I tend to say my summer lasted 4 weeks. 2 weeks in Germany, 2 weeks before school started. I'm starting to forget the rest. I love the feeling of starting off new in the school year, everything is beginning to settle. I thrive in constant energy and motion.
Lazy and uninspired is no way to go through life. This isn't me, but I have no choice but to face it now. Fuck you too, mono.
Today I had an anxiety attack. Lasted a long time too. It's this sick feeling in your stomach that stays there all day long and in one second your heart starts racing and you feel like fainting on the spot. Damn auditions. Once again, nervous, scared me is coming out. I think I'm just afriad of wasted work and disappointment.
I feel like an ass for just complaining on the internet. But god does it feel good to just write down whatever comes to your mind.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Bluntness Over Emotion
Anyone can blog. It's just that the good one's I have read are deep, insightful, and you find yourself really getting into the mind of the author.
That isn't me. I don't have long, thought out sentences and I'm too reserved in my writing. So there you have it: BLUNT.
This is something that's been bugging me lately. I'm very open and have no problems expressing myself, it's just that when it comes to written word I find myself just listing events and what happened. Not getting too much in my mind, just reading events. I have no opinion most of the time. I don't delve deep into my thoughts. My diary is just stuff that has happened that day, not what I think about current situations, not trying to figure out the meaning of life, just an unopinionated reporter of my life.
I just hope this to be a learning experience.
How has life been today? Well, today in particular, it sucks. Went to the doctor's today to find out I have bronchitis and a good reminder that my spine is crooked. Thanks.
Life in the general present? Pretty awesome!
I've spent the last week and a half going out with friends and having the time of my life. What should have been happening all summer should have happened in these 1.5 weeks: Bowling, Swimming, long walks while holding hands, crashing eachother's houses and staying up till 1am. I'm slowly, but surely, learning how to relax thanks to a certain someone. It was all worth the bronchitis.
That isn't me. I don't have long, thought out sentences and I'm too reserved in my writing. So there you have it: BLUNT.
This is something that's been bugging me lately. I'm very open and have no problems expressing myself, it's just that when it comes to written word I find myself just listing events and what happened. Not getting too much in my mind, just reading events. I have no opinion most of the time. I don't delve deep into my thoughts. My diary is just stuff that has happened that day, not what I think about current situations, not trying to figure out the meaning of life, just an unopinionated reporter of my life.
I just hope this to be a learning experience.
How has life been today? Well, today in particular, it sucks. Went to the doctor's today to find out I have bronchitis and a good reminder that my spine is crooked. Thanks.
Life in the general present? Pretty awesome!
I've spent the last week and a half going out with friends and having the time of my life. What should have been happening all summer should have happened in these 1.5 weeks: Bowling, Swimming, long walks while holding hands, crashing eachother's houses and staying up till 1am. I'm slowly, but surely, learning how to relax thanks to a certain someone. It was all worth the bronchitis.
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